Die 51 lustigsten Tweets aus 2018 – Twitter ahoi!
Die lustigsten Tweets aus dem Jahr 2018 seht ihr hier in unserer Bilderstrecke. Viel Spaß beim Finger-Wund-Wischen.
Ah, Twitter,
...der Sündenpfuhl der modernen Internet-Unterhaltung
...die Nummer-Eins-Ablenkung des trostlosen Seins
...die – ach fu*k it! – hier sind lustige Twitter-Tweets 2018, viel Spaß, ich bin weg.
A cup: try out this fun sexy one piece at the pool this summer
— bez (@Bez) 13. Juli 2018
B cup or larger: wear this topless swimsuit to your local nude beach pic.twitter.com/goMKhojp2H
This is my tinder profile. I’ve had it for a year. 23 men have contacted me to say I’m incorrect about toilet paper pic.twitter.com/uBAcQlZ34r
— Hana Michels (@HanaMichels) 2. Juli 2018
I turned in my paper to my professor last night and this morning I realized I forgot to change the title...hows your day going? pic.twitter.com/FnornTF00n
— morgxn (@morgs216) 25. April 2018
told my boyfriend I was going to start my period and he said, "AGAIN??"
— m. diane (@cULTMOTHER) 11. Juni 2018
it's like, you know what, you're right, I'm cancelling my subscription.
"Papa, wie funktioniert eigentlich das Internet?"
— Schnabulinski (@schnabulinski) 27. August 2018
"Also, du stellst eine Frage, dann bekommst du eine falsche Antwort auf eine ganz andere Frage. Dann wird viel gestritten und deine Mama wird beleidigt. Im Hintergrund laufen Katzenvideos. Irgendeiner schreit Hitler."
When you ugly, but you funny. pic.twitter.com/VaiX9VeLRE
— 🎹 (@Dr_Sweets23) 26. November 2018
RELATIVE: You know about computers, right?
— Caitlin (@caithuls) 28. Februar 2018
ME (has a degree in computer science): No
So mach ich das auch immer. In einer Welt, wo man atmen muss, um zu überleben, sollte man irgendwann mal das Atmen lernen.
My neighbors are so friendly that I'm sitting in my car waiting for them to go inside so I don't have to talk to them.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) 24. April 2018
„Bitte direkt angeben“ Ja wie denn sonst? Poetische Umschreibung? „Mir war vergönnt, zwei Dutzend Winter kommen und gehen zu sehen“? pic.twitter.com/xIgP4aVkaw
— Omnimodo Facturus (@OmniFactu) 27. Juli 2018
Mother: can you please fix my computer
— Cheish (@TheCheish) 13. Juni 2018
Me: *leans back in chair* well... well ... well ... if it isn’t Miss ‘Get Off That Computer’ Years 1994 to 2006
eventually i will be my son's mother, but currently i am just a 24hr breastaurant
— rachel axler (@rachelaxler) 11. Juni 2018
ME: I look cute
— katie (@katefeetie) 10. Juni 2018
MIRRORS: you look cute
STORE WINDOWS: you look cute
OTHER PEOPLE: you look cute
IPHONE FORWARD-FACING CAMERA: what’s up you Shrek-lookin bag of bitch
Ach deswegen sieht man auf neuen iPhones bei Selfies aus wie ein Model :D
once at a party I was stuck in a boring group conversation then I remembered I had a banana in my purse so I pulled it out answered it like a phone and said “Sorry guys I have to take this” and walked away we are the masters of our own fate
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) 28. Juni 2018
Live footage of the UK leaving the EU pic.twitter.com/TBqS2MGoqL
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) 24. Dezember 2018
I dropped a box of spaghetti on the ground and accidentally graduated from Art School. pic.twitter.com/X8NdjG6vdY
— Mr. Drinks On Me #MI (@Mr_DrinksOnMe) 13. April 2018
How much spinach I start cooking vs how much I end up with. pic.twitter.com/DWmWEKQFkm
— Simply TC (@BienSur_JeTaime) 5. Januar 2018
Wenn man das Logo der Deutschen Bahn auf den Kopf stellt, sieht man den Kunden. #DB #Bahn #Kunde #Perspektivwechsel pic.twitter.com/MCwcF6DCuF
— Robert Ciesnik (@ichbinswieder) 27. August 2018
— Abbie (@AbbieEvansXO) 26. Juli 2018
Dog: I guess I could protect you?
Me: dude you’ve been in one fight in your life and that was with a blanket
Was macht die Word-Büroklammer eigentlich heute? pic.twitter.com/uu5dKz3MSc
— Beverly Hitzkopf (@derCemDerin) 28. Juli 2018
me on twitter vs. me on linkedin pic.twitter.com/RLsRPfOC7u
— Joon Lee (@joonlee) 16. November 2018
Alles eine Frage der Umgebung, wie man sich verhält. In der heutigen Gesellschaft um Beispiel... ach lassen wir das!
I threw old kale under my feeder and now the squirrels are walking around in yoga pants and requesting coconut water.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) 25. Juli 2018
Geil! Ein Männerparkplatz auf dem mann grillen kann. pic.twitter.com/YxSNMMhr0r
— Uwe Carsten (@uwe_carsten) 7. August 2018
My grandfather told me that when my grandma gets mad at him he tightens the pickle jar lid so she’ll have to talk to him ... I want that
— Crislyn Graham (@crislyn_graham) 17. Juli 2018
not to brag but this bird just proposed to me pic.twitter.com/ou2sqVbeBD
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) 11. April 2018
When the design team loses a debate with the legal team. pic.twitter.com/oYTnvNVqQ0
— Martyn Reding (@martynreding) 21. August 2018
Unverständliche AGB und solche länger als 200 Wörter sollten verboten werden.
Falls das Kritik an unserer digitalen Gesellschaft sein soll, Respekt! Dennoch wird man im Internet ja bekanntlich durchleuchtet wie unter einem Röntgengerät.
Forgot I threw an old wig away and then I gave myself a heart attack pic.twitter.com/HI7rKr74eK
— dianarama (@dianamail17) 4. Februar 2018
Flight departure: 5:00pm
— Taj Hughes (@TajHughes) 22. Juli 2018
Me at 4:58pm: pic.twitter.com/pIuYhGQY5a
Klar, was könnte man als Deutscher auch sonst meinen! pic.twitter.com/GkBLInp3vX
— Genug Anouk (@GenugAnouk) 9. Dezember 2018
HR at my work just called me and i thought i was in trouble for something but they just let me know my 11-year-old sister has been commenting on their instagram every day telling them to give me a raise
— natawee (@natfos) 27. Juli 2018
I finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures. It's my face.
— hoboprincess (@cant_stopeating) 29. Juni 2018
Can you die from having too many passwords to remember
— Sweatpants Cher 🔶 (@House_Feminist) 13. März 2018
me at 6 y/o: bilingual, genius iq, mentally healthy, able to do math
— Ciranda (@marcociranda) 30. September 2018
me at 18 y/o: illiterate, health is nonexistent, and needs a calculator to solve 6+8
me choosing my outfit everyday pic.twitter.com/a39XMLw0vw
— satan (@vampiregaI) 2. Mai 2018
met a bunch of guys from Harvard yesterday and I kept pretending like I never heard of that school just to piss them off...one of them legit turned red when I said, “Harvard? Is that like a local community college?” LMAOOOOOO
— “vanessa” (@V_sugarbaby) 12. August 2018
During a job interview Today I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed slightly,
— Ađéđiméji👑📷🇳🇬 (@DeeTwoGd) 25. Juni 2018
"Nervous"? Ask the interviewer
I replied simply "No, I always give 110%"
GUYS.
— Rachel Harper (@Rachel__Harper) 24. Juni 2018
For the past two years the ticket man at my station has baffled me. Some days we get on like a house on fire, chatting about life. Other days he won’t even return a hello...turns out to be a pair of identical twins who both work there.
TWO SEPERATE MEN.
TWO YEARS GUYS.
My new thing is finding birds that look like they are twice divorced pic.twitter.com/IYKmIplUFv
— Cheish (@TheCheish) 21. Januar 2018
Bought a treadmill that hooks into Google Map streetview so that I can virtually run around my neighborhood...
— 🧚♂️ Girl On Tapas 💚 🧚♂️ (@girlontapas) 21. Januar 2018
My evolution to total introvert is complete.
Man kann es nachvollziehen, wenn man bedenkt, dass man da draußen meistens Menschen begegnet.
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